Living with constant anxiety

I’ve decided that I’m gonna start writing about whatever I want instead doing just beauty (but don’t worry I’ll be writing beauty related things a lot). This will kind of just be like a little diary of whatever I feel like writing, to make it very enjoyable!

I’m a person that deals with anxiety everyday. I’m filled to the brim with self doubt. And I don’t like thinking about the unknown. I’m a mess, I know, but I know I’m not alone. Sometimes I feel as if I overreact, which usually causes self doubt. Almost like a cycle. I wonder if I’m crazy, or if everything is my fault. I constantly worry about the opinions of others, and crave validation from my peers. I often try to act like people/things don’t  bother me, but really I just want everyone to like me. I want to be someone people can talk to and feel comfortable around. But for some reason many people don’t feel that way, or maybe they do I’m not sure.

Since I worry so much I often thing people don’t like me when they do. Or I think people don’t care about me when they do. It pushes away relationships and it’s very confusing. Sometimes I wonder is it my fault or there’s? Did I push them away or are they just a jerk.

My image has always been a problem for me. Before elementary I thought I was a beautiful princess haha. Then I got to middle school and that idea of myself was ripped from my heart. Kids were cruel because they were filled with self hate too. It’s understandable, and I’m not mad at them because they were so young. But man kids are cruel.

Now I have a loving  boyfriend which is the one thing I always craved since middle school. I was actually really scared I would never find love simple because of my looks(it’s vein I know). But luckily I have and it’s amazing :). You know guys I’m not really sure we’re I’m going with this post haha. Maybe I just want someone to read this and think “wow I go through the same things too”. I just enjoy writing ,so yeah. This was very random and unorganized, kinda like me :). That’s another thing, my thoughts are often jumbled and its hard for me to make a point. But after thinking long and hard I’ve realized this post is something I hope others can relate to. I hope people realize they’re not alone in this world :). As my favorite asmr artist Maria(gentle whispers) said, life is a constant struggle , we are just here to experience the good and bad (something along those lines).

Well sorry if this was boring or just weird haha. I hope whoever reading this has a beautiful day or night! Also feel free to email me with any problems or anything I love helping people out 🙂

Thanks for reading!♡

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Email : ebonisblogs@yahoo.com

Instagram : eboni_simmons

Twitter : ebonisimmons81

 

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12 thoughts on “Living with constant anxiety

  1. I relate COMPLETELY!
    In my blog, I have a category called “my release” because I wanted to have a way to release my thoughts without feeling judged, but I also wanted others to see it. I wanted them to see what I see, hoping that they can make sense of my pointless ramble that starts off great but I somehow can’t ever finish with a bang, lol. I, like yourself, have a very hard time expressing myself out loud and even through writing sometimes, as I can’t sort out the jumbled up facts in my head.
    I love that you added this as a way to let your followers connect with you and truly get to know you through your posts.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Great post! I can really relate to this in many ways. I used to have awful anxiety back when I was 16-18 years old so bad that I dreaded and sometimes couldn’t leave the house. Now at 22, after finishing university and starting a new job I’m getting there but still have down periods from time to time. Thats why I decided to start blogging. Thanks for posting this 🙂 x

    Like

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